An Honest Parent-Child Conversation About Adoption
Therapeutic mom Christine Moers recently wrote about going through some workbook questions with all three of her children who joined her family via adoption. When she sat with her 14-year-old and posed the question, “If you could sum up your adoption experience in one word, what would it be?” He replied with ZERO hesitation: “Pain.”
“WOW,” she said. “Wow for a million reasons. One being that he has tremendous fear talking about his feelings. And of course – WOW – because he didn’t have to even think about it. The pain is still there and fresh and constantly on his mind.”
Another section of the workbook listed several things that adult adoptees have felt and her son was to select the things that applied to him. Among other things, he chose two phrases that both expressed a fierce loyalty to his adoptive parents and not ever wanting to hurt them. They have had this discussion no fewer than 4 million times, she reported. “It was a huge reminder to me that the truth must be repeated over and over and over and over again as they grow.”
You can find lots of free workbooks at: http://www.sherrieeldridge.com/store.cfm. Most workbooks are Biblically based. If that is not your faith system, you can easily pull many of the questions to simply use as conversation starters with your kids (Christine has used the same concepts and questions with different wording, for her 8, 11, and 14 year olds).
To find out more about Christine, check out our interview with her here! https://housecallscounseling.com/2011/02/12/an-interview-with-therapeutic-mom-christine-moers/